I’ve been with Mike (a long haul pilot) for several years. We’re engaged now.
I have, in recent years become acutely aware of the sacrifices a lot of pilots wives have to make.
I have witnessed this 1st hand, as I am friends with many pilot’s wives and I hear their stories. I have also spoken to the children of pilots who have discussed their upbringing with me and highlighted the added pressures that their mothers had.
My closest friends father was a pilot and she has her own unique story to tell. Which she brings to my attention every time Mike and I have our problems.
A lot of pilot’s wives have complained to me about the lack of support they receive from their husbands regarding kids – ‘part time father’ is a term I have come across on many an occasion. I can’t relate to this since I don’t have children at the moment. However this is a worry for me since I live several hundred miles from any family or good friends, so when we do start a family I’ll have no support.
Mike goes to work on average once a week and is away from home for several days, often longer. He comes back from work moody and exhausted. He spends the first day sleeping and is totally unapproachable. The following day he is tired and miserable.
When he is feeling ‘normal’ again he is back to his cycle of aviation forums, gardening and golf. He rarely has the impetus to suggest doing anything with me. Going somewhere and doing something would be my responsibility. If the weather is good then golf would take priority over a day with me.
As with many pilots wives I speak to, their husbands have their ‘fun’ at work. They drink loads of beer, stay out until all hours and party. Yet they never do this with their wives when home, they just want to rest.
One of my good friends says her pilot husband is too tired for a physical relationship.
Another tells me she wants to travel the world but her husband won’t go on holidays with her as he feels he is already away from the UK too much!
One thing I can clearly relate to is the loneliness. I am 100s of miles from my family and my close friends.
If I bring the lonliness to Mike’s attention he clearly tells me ‘you know what the job involves and if you don’t like it you know where the door is’.
pilots-wife-network 