I’m particularly intrigued to watch Flight with Denzel Washington and I have less than a week to wait now until it’s released in the UK. I will post back here with my thoughts after I have watched it. No doubt they’ll be some affair with a glamorous air hostess, or he’ll have girlfriend in every port! Let’s wait and see…
Is it embarrassing to be married to a pilot?
Does anyone find it embarrassing to be married to a pilot – in certain situations? I’ve endured so many dinners with so called friends who have made comments like ‘can you ever trust Mike 100% when he is away?’, ‘Do you worry about the air hostesses’, ‘how does it feel have no support at home when you have a new baby’.
Other comments like ‘pilots are just bus drivers in the air’, ‘pilots don’t do anything apart from press a few buttons on the aircraft’, ‘there is no glamour left in the job anymore’.
I find it totally trivializes what he does and how hard he works and I tend to get thoroughly irritated in certain situations!
Do air hostesses sleep with pilots?
Of course air hostesses sleep with pilots, a lot of pilots are single and those who are not consume a lot of alcohol on these trips and they are far from home etc! They do get a lot more opportunities than most men and the risk of their wives finding out is quite low. But at the end of the day it comes down to what type of man you’re with. Not all men cheat and I know there are a lot of happily married pilots out there. Let’s face it, if you’re with the type of man who cheats, surely they’ll do it anyway (whether they’re a pilot or not). I also feel that there are more opportunities for men who work in an office to build up a relationship with a colleague, whereas pilots fly with different women all the time and don’t have the opportunity to develop such intimate relationships.
I’d be lying to say I don’t worry about whether Mike sleeps with air hostesses when he’s away, but I don’t wind myself up about it, unless of course we’re having a bad patch at home. My worry isn’t actually the air hostesses, it’s the other women that he may meet in a bar, or a night club, far from home. Maybe an American Lawyer, or waitress in a restaurant he is eating in. Or even the receptionist who checks him into his hotel (I have seen these women flirt when he is in uniform with my own two eyes).
Another reason that I don’t worry about this as much as others, is that an air hostess has a connection after all. An air hostess could be serving me on our next trip to Thailand and would Mike risk that? No way! Sleeping with a woman in a bar 1000s of miles from home would be a much less risky move on his part.
Back to the question of whether air hostesses sleep with pilots. Well I know a lot of air hostesses see it as a challenge to bag a pilot. I have also seen a lot of air hostesses flirt with pilots, even flirt with my husband in front of me!
If you’ve just started to date a pilot and you’re already having these worries…. run. My worries weren’t huge to start with, but let me tell you after a few years of marriage and a pregnancy you do start to worry yourself more. I’m not so slim anymore and I worry that that hot blonde American lawyer may tempt my husband for a night of passion… and I’d never find out!
My Pilot’s Past
My Fiancee, Mike had a colourful past before I met him. He informed me that the reason that he broke up with his girlfriend of 9 years, was that he wanted to play the field and sample the delights of air hostesses. Which he did. He practically slept with the whole of the small airline that he used to work for before he met me.
On one occassion he went around to his friend’s house (also a pilot) when he was at work. They had 4 kids upstairs asleep and he slept with his wife when drunk (an airhostess). Again, before he met me.
He cheated on his girlfriend of 9 years, a couple of times towards the end.
To date I’ve not had any suggestion that he has cheated. However his past suggests that he has this ability. He is on the other side of the World every week and I would never know.
He tells me he loves me and that he has been squeeky clean since meeting me. However in a pilot’s job they have a lot of opportunities available. Any comments?
Can you trust a pilot?
The question ‘can you trust a pilot?’ is one that friends often ask me.
I recently returned from Singapore with Mike, my Fiancée (a Pilot for a UK airline). He was flying and I’d gone along to spend some much needed time with him.
It was this trip that has made me want to start this blog. Again I witnessed another married pilot (just 35 years of age) cheating on his wife. He spent the whole trip glued to one of the air hostesses and bought her copious amounts of alcohol and dinners out.
I travel a lot with Mike and witness inappropriate behaviour from pilots around 20% of the time.
This isn’t great for me to see. I do trust Mike, but then when I watch these men in action it really starts to unnerve me.
Furthermore their cheating angers me, as I appreciate how difficult it can be for pilot’s partners and recognise all of the sacrifices they have to make (I will go into this on another post).
I just wish that there was more transparency and these cheating men would get their comeuppance.
*I also want to add that I don’t believe that all pilots are like this. In fact the majority seem to be happily married (albeit a large proportion of them on their 2nd marriages).
Sacrifices of a pilot’s wife
I’ve been with Mike (a long haul pilot) for several years. We’re engaged now.
I have, in recent years become acutely aware of the sacrifices a lot of pilots wives have to make.
I have witnessed this 1st hand, as I am friends with many pilot’s wives and I hear their stories. I have also spoken to the children of pilots who have discussed their upbringing with me and highlighted the added pressures that their mothers had.
My closest friends father was a pilot and she has her own unique story to tell. Which she brings to my attention every time Mike and I have our problems.
A lot of pilot’s wives have complained to me about the lack of support they receive from their husbands regarding kids – ‘part time father’ is a term I have come across on many an occasion. I can’t relate to this since I don’t have children at the moment. However this is a worry for me since I live several hundred miles from any family or good friends, so when we do start a family I’ll have no support.
Mike goes to work on average once a week and is away from home for several days, often longer. He comes back from work moody and exhausted. He spends the first day sleeping and is totally unapproachable. The following day he is tired and miserable.
When he is feeling ‘normal’ again he is back to his cycle of aviation forums, gardening and golf. He rarely has the impetus to suggest doing anything with me. Going somewhere and doing something would be my responsibility. If the weather is good then golf would take priority over a day with me.
As with many pilots wives I speak to, their husbands have their ‘fun’ at work. They drink loads of beer, stay out until all hours and party. Yet they never do this with their wives when home, they just want to rest.
One of my good friends says her pilot husband is too tired for a physical relationship.
Another tells me she wants to travel the world but her husband won’t go on holidays with her as he feels he is already away from the UK too much!
One thing I can clearly relate to is the loneliness. I am 100s of miles from my family and my close friends.
If I bring the lonliness to Mike’s attention he clearly tells me ‘you know what the job involves and if you don’t like it you know where the door is’.
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